Fred is a partner in a well known accounting firm. His income is good, he has a fine home, is happily married and a father of promising children of college age. He has an attractive personality that enables him make friends with everyone. If ever there was a successful business man, it was Fred. In all appearance, he is a stable, well balanced individual. Yet he is an alcoholic.
We first saw Fred about a year ago in hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters. It was his first experience of this kind, and he was so ashamed of it. Far from admitting he was an alcoholic, he told himself he came to the hospital to rest his nerves. The doctor intimated that he might be worse than he realized. For a few days he was depressed about his condition. He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether. It never occurred to him that perhaps he could not do so, in spite of his character and standing. Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic. Much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem. We told him what we knew about alcoholism. He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms but he was a long way to admitting that he could do nothing about it himself. He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self knowledge would fix it.
In His Own Words …….
Let him tell you about it. ”I was so much impressed by what you fellows said about alcoholism, and I frankly did not believe it would be possible for me to drink again. I rather appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but was confident it would not happen to me after I had learned. I reasoned I was not so far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems and that I would therefore be successful where you guys failed.”
“In this frame of mind, I went about my business and for a time all was well. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and I wondered if I was making too hard work for a simple matter. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. I had been out of town before during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about it. Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I have pressing problems or worries. My business fared well, I was pleased and knew my partner would be too. It was the end of another perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon.”
“I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another cocktail. After dinner I decided to take a walk. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a high ball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into a bar and at no time do I remember having several more that night and plenty more next morning. I have a shadowy recollection of being in an airplane bound for New York, and of finding a friendly taxicab at the landing field instead of my wife. The driver escorted me about for several days knowing little of where I went or what I said and did. Then came the hospital with unbearable mental and physical suffering.
“As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went carefully over that evening in Washington. Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against the first drink. This time I had not thought of the consequences at all. I had commenced to drink carelessly
as though the cocktails were ginger ale. I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come and I would drink again
They had said that though I did raise my defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Well that did happen and more, for what I had learned about alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots, had never been able to understand people who said that the problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.
“Two AA(Alcoholic Anonymous) members came to see me. They grinned, which I didn’t like so much, and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time. I had to concede both propositions. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition. They cited cases out of their own experiences by the dozen. This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself.
“Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go to through the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be.”
“Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems and have since been brought into a way
of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could.”